A Valley mother is speaking for the first time after her 6-month-old son was killed at the hands of the boy's father .
Phoenix police said 30-year-old Robert Resendiz told detectives that he bent the boy in half when he would not stop crying. He did not release pressure until the boy went limp.
"I just want him back. I just want to hold him," the boy's mother said through tears. "I just want to give him his kisses. I just want to make a bottle. I want to change a diaper and I can't."
The mother asked that ABC15 not identify her, but she is speaking out to make sure her son, Ezekiel, is remembered.
"It's just really hard," she said, as she described how she had already wrapped his gifts for his first Christmas.
She was even preparing for his first birthday party. But, doctors told her last Tuesday to be prepared for a funeral.
"No one was coming with any good news," she recalled from that day at Phoenix Children's Hospital. "It was just like, 'Prepare yourself'... This isn't a recipe. I can't. Prepare myself for what?"
She said that her day started like any other. She left to go to work and she left her son with Resendiz.
But, Resendiz reportedly told police that he pressed the infant's leg over his head and bent his body to get Ezekiel to stop crying.
He said he did not release pressure until the victim stopped moving and was limp. He also allegedly admitted to even biting the 6-month-old twice out of frustration.
The damage was too severe for Ezekiel to survive. They had to take him off life support and it has left an entire family devastated.
"How can you do this to my nephew? To your own son," asked Wesley Jefferson, the infant's great uncle. "What was going through your mind? Just want answers. What were you thinking?"
And for the mother, it just does not add up.
She knows Resendiz as a loving father who was devoted to his son. So, among the pure sadness and anger, she is beyond confused as to how this happened at all.
"If there was any doubt that, you know, he would be capable of something like this I would have never... left 'Zeke' there," she said.
She says she has not spoken to Resendiz and that she would not even know what to say if she was given the chance.
Instead, she is focused on grieving the loss of her baby and planning a funeral.
If you would like to help the family with those expenses, click here .