A new survey of 2,000 Americans reveals how money secrets are quietly reshaping relationships, dating decisions, and life milestones across the country.
You might think you know your partner's finances — but there's a good chance you don't have the full picture. A major new survey finds that financial secrecy is far more common than most people realize, touching everything from how we choose romantic partners to what we hide from our own families.
Find out where you stand — and what the data says about how Americans really handle money in their closest relationships.
- 59% — Have kept a financial secret
- 30% — Hid something from a partner or family
- 72% — Factor finances into dating
Money is one of the last true taboos in American relationships. While most people will talk about past relationships or career struggles, admitting to a bad credit score or hidden credit card debt is a different matter entirely. The survey — which reached 2,000 Americans — found that financial secrecy is not an edge case. It is mainstream.
The most common secrets? A bad credit score tops the list, followed by significant credit card debt and gambling. And while keeping financial secrets might feel like protecting a partner from stress, researchers suggest the silence itself creates its own kind of pressure — on relationships, on major life decisions, and on personal confidence.
How Well Do You Know Americans' Financial Secrets?
Four questions drawn from a survey of 2,000 Americans. How closely are you paying attention?
What share of Americans admit to keeping some kind of financial secret from others?
- About 1 in 4 (25%) — The real number is much higher. The survey found 59% — nearly 6 in 10 Americans — have kept a financial secret from someone in their life.
- About 4 in 10 (40%) — Close, but financial secrecy is even more widespread than that. The correct figure is 59% — a majority of the 2,000 Americans surveyed.
- Nearly 6 in 10 (59%) — Correct. The survey found 59% of Americans have kept some kind of financial secret from others — making it a majority behavior, not an outlier.
- More than 8 in 10 (82%) — Not quite. The survey found 59% — a significant majority, but not that high. The bigger story is how common secrecy is even at that level.
According to the survey, what is the MOST common financial secret Americans keep?
- Hidden credit card purchases — Hiding purchases is common — 30% admitted to it — but it's not the top secret. The survey found a bad credit score ranks as the most common financial secret Americans keep.
- A bad credit score — Correct. Among financial secrets, a bad credit score topped the list in the survey, followed by significant credit card debt and gambling.
- Gambling losses — Gambling does appear on the list, but it ranks third — behind a bad credit score and significant credit card debt, which are the top two secrets Americans keep.
- An unpaid loan to a family member — The survey didn't rank this as the most common. A bad credit score topped the list, followed by credit card debt and gambling.
What percentage of Americans say financial stability is a key consideration when looking for a romantic partner?
- About half (50%) — Financial compatibility matters even more broadly than that. The survey found 72% of Americans consider financial stability a key factor when choosing a partner.
- 72% — Correct. Nearly three-quarters of Americans — 72% — say financial stability is a key consideration when looking for a partner, according to the survey.
- About 85% — The actual figure is 72% — still a commanding majority, but notably, 6% said they don't consider a partner's finances at all.
- Just over a third (35%) — Financial compatibility is a much bigger priority than that. The survey found 72% say financial stability is a key factor when choosing a partner.
What share of Americans admitted to specifically hiding a purchase or financial decision from a spouse, partner, or family member?
- About 1 in 10 (10%) — The real share is three times higher. The survey found 30% — roughly 1 in 3 Americans — admitted to hiding a purchase or financial decision from a spouse, partner, or family member.
- About 1 in 5 (20%) — Close, but the actual figure is 30% — meaning nearly 1 in 3 Americans has hidden spending or a financial choice from someone they're close to.
- About 1 in 3 (30%) — Correct. 30% of Americans admitted to hiding a purchase or financial decision from their spouse, partner, or family member — a strikingly high share given how common the survey found full financial secrecy to be.
- Nearly half (45%) — The survey found 30% admitted to hiding a specific purchase or decision from someone close to them. The broader secrecy figure — 59% — includes all types of financial secrets, not just hidden spending.
Financial secrecy doesn't just affect couples — it ripples outward. The survey found a majority of respondents have provided financial assistance to a family member or loved one, often to help cover everyday expenses. That kind of support can be an act of generosity, but it can also introduce its own tensions when the assistance isn't fully acknowledged or when it stretches the giver's own budget.
Experts at TD Bank say the antidote to money stress in relationships isn't a perfect credit score — it's communication. Understanding your own financial situation and being willing to have honest conversations with the people you're closest to can build the kind of confidence that reduces the pressure to keep secrets in the first place.
The scale of this survey — 2,000 Americans — makes its findings hard to dismiss as anecdotal. Financial secrecy is not a quirk of a few anxious people. It is a defining feature of how most Americans navigate money in their relationships. The question the data raises is not whether secrets exist, but what it costs everyone involved to keep them.
Researchers and financial professionals increasingly agree: the path forward isn't shame or pressure to disclose everything immediately. It is building the financial literacy and communication skills that make honest conversations feel less threatening — and less necessary to avoid.
How to Start the Financial Honesty Conversation
- Start with yourself — Before bringing finances into a relationship conversation, get clear on your own situation — credit score, debt, spending habits. Confidence in your own understanding makes the conversation easier to start.
- Pick a low-stakes moment — Avoid bringing up financial topics during a stressful or emotionally charged moment. A calm, planned conversation lands better than one sparked by a discovered credit card statement.
- Lead with goals, not numbers — Opening with what you're working toward — paying off debt, building an emergency fund, saving for a home — is less threatening than leading with the raw numbers.
- Make it a habit, not a confession — Regular, brief financial check-ins with a partner or family member normalize money conversations. When they're routine, there's less pressure on any single discussion.
About This Survey
The findings reported here come from a survey of 2,000 Americans commissioned by TD Bank U.S. The survey examined how money influences relationship decisions, what kinds of financial information people keep private, and how financial considerations factor into dating and family dynamics.
Marc Womack serves as Head of Client Experience, Strategy and Governance at TD Bank U.S. Mandy Kelso is Head of Financial Education at TD Bank U.S. Both were cited in conjunction with the survey's findings.
Sources & References
- Primary source: Scripps News — Kelly Broderick
- TD Bank U.S. — Survey of 2,000 Americans on financial secrecy, relationship dynamics, and dating considerations
- Scripps News — Study finds small finance changes can dramatically reduce stress
