Arizona seniors are falling victim to sophisticated romance scams that are draining their retirement savings and leaving them emotionally devastated. These digital predators are exploiting vulnerable adults through social media, dating apps, and even online games, with artificial intelligence making the deceptions increasingly difficult to detect.
Joyce Petrowski learned firsthand about the devastating impact of romance scams when a loved one became a victim after her husband's death.
"I learned of a loved one who was a victim of a romance scam. Her husband had recently passed and not quite sure how the scammer (got to them), I think it was social media," Petrowski said.
"Unfortunately, she did lose money," Petrowski said.
The experience motivated Petrowski to take action, but her anger wasn't directed at the victim.
"I was not angry at my loved one. I was angry at the scammer," Petrowski said.
This personal tragedy led Petrowski to found R.O.S.E. Advocacy — Resources Outreach to Safeguard the Elderly, a local nonprofit organization that offers fraud awareness and protection programs specifically designed for seniors.
"We want to try to prevent as much as possible the older adults from being victims, and we felt that education was the best," Petrowski said.
The financial impact of these scams is particularly devastating for seniors who have spent decades building their retirement funds.
"I want to retire at this age. I have my nest egg. I've met with my financial planners… and then you have somebody that comes along and preys on that and exploits your emotions to get you to give them the money," Petrowski said.
The problem has become so severe that Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes has made combating romance scams a priority for her office.
Scammers can appear anywhere online, from social media platforms to dating apps and even online gaming sites. Petrowski emphasizes the importance of verification over blind trust.
"You just can't believe it. You have to verify," Petrowski said.
AI is making these scams even more sophisticated and harder to detect, particularly challenging for older adults who may be less familiar with technology. This creates an increasingly blurred line between genuine human connection and digital deception.
Erin Elliott, a board member of R.O.S.E. Advocacy, understands the helplessness families feel when dealing with these situations. Despite his background in cybersecurity and education technology, Elliott felt overwhelmed when his own loved one became entangled in a romance scam while grieving the loss of a spouse.
"He (Elliott's loved one) was going through a difficult time emotionally, where he lost a spouse, and you get into a vulnerable mindset, and the Internet can be a scary place, dangerous place, especially when you're in a vulnerable mindset," Elliott said. "How do I deal with this? I come I have a background in cybersecurity. I've worked in education technology, leading security teams for years, and really kind of felt hopeless and lost."
Elliott recognized warning signs when his loved one's basic needs weren't being met, and small financial requests began escalating.
"Basic needs not being met, asking for a couple $100 here, there, and then over, you know, period of several months and going into years, just kind of snowballed from there," Elliott said.
The psychological manipulation involved in these scams is particularly insidious, with victims being gradually conditioned over extended periods.
"These victims have been groomed… day after day, month after month… and that's a real person to them in their mind," Elliott said.
Warning signs your loved one may be a victim
Elliott emphasizes the importance of approaching loved ones with empathy rather than blame when discussing potential romance scams. Key warning signs that someone may be involved in a romance scam include:
- Sudden secrecy about online activities
- Constantly receiving messages or phone calls
- Unexplained requests for money
Red flags to watch for yourself
If you're engaging with someone online, be alert to these warning signs:
Moving conversations off platform: Scammers often request to shift communication from dating apps or social media to private messaging platforms like text, WhatsApp, or Telegram, where there's less oversight and monitoring.
Instant intensity: Be wary of declarations of love within days or weeks of meeting someone online. This "love bombing" technique is designed to build fast emotional trust and lower your defenses.
The key to protection is maintaining a balance between openness to love and healthy skepticism. Verification should always come before trust when meeting someone online.
How to have a conversation with your loved one
Don't blame. When talking with someone who has become a victim of a romance scam, it can be difficult to convince them that the person they have been speaking with is not the person they think. Be careful not to accuse them of anything.
Gather research. Look for podcasts, newsletters, and social media discussions that can help jump-start the conversation. It's a great way to ask, " Hey, I just learned about this new scam out there. Has anybody ever reached out to you like this?"
Ice breakers. Look for movies or books to help break the ice and talk about conversations that involve scams.
Keep talking. It doesn't end with one conversation. Repeated conversations will help refresh your loved one's memory about the dangers of romance scams. Also, it's important to talk to them *not at them, so meet them with empathy and compassion.
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