Zenner: Marshawn's mom adds to Seahawks' decline

Posted at 4:58 PM, Sep 15, 2015
and last updated 2015-09-15 19:58:19-04

Cardinals fans: You have to be loving what is going on in Seattle right now.

I’m not saying the defending NFC Champions are bursting at the seams, coming off the rails, plunging over a cliff into the mundaneness of mediocrity and an 8-8 record that usually comes to teams that have had everything fall into place for a couple years in a row. 

Wait a second. Yes, I am saying that. 

It’s based on an examination of the facts, a hunch, a vibe and the fact that in the world of sports, karma really does exist. 

Let’s start with the evidence. The Seahawks lost a game they most certainly should have won on Sunday in St. Louis. 

Seattle is a better team than the Rams, and while it took the Seahawks a while to wake up, they finally did and put together a great rally to force overtime.

That’s when things got downright comical. Not only did they try an onside kick for no reason (which didn’t work), but they also couldn’t gain one measly yard when they needed it to keep their final drive alive. 

The last time the Seahawks won a game that mattered was in the NFC Championship game. Remember that one? They recovered an onside kick and completed a bomb to beat the Packers: All kinds of things that shouldn’t happen and can’t happen more than once. 

The last time they needed to go a short distance to win a game was the Super Bowl in Glendale, when they didn’t go Beast Mode and hand the ball to Marshawn Lynch. We know how that worked out. On Sunday, they give the ball to their beast, and he came up short. 

On Tuesday came the absolutely priceless story that Marshawn Lynch’s mother posted a demand on Facebook that Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell should be fired.

Fired for giving her son the ball.  

Cardinals fans, this is like Christmas in September. Hollywood script writers would be laughed out of the conference room if they tried to pitch this plot. 

We have learned two interesting things the last few days.  

1.  Since most teams couldn’t beat the Seahawks on the field the last few years, they are going to do their rivals a favor and beat themselves when they can.  

2. Marshawn’s mom did not run this through spell check. Which is awesome, because it’s way more entertaining the way she scripted it:

"Too the smart azz media who wrote that's why marshawn didn't get the ball in the superbowl ,how many times did russell get sacked yesterday, Dont worry i will wait on the answer plus it was totally different at the superbowl the line was better than yesterday no blocking and to the offense caller who should have been fired yes i said it Fired !!! He is the worst play-caller ever the only reason he called that dumb azz play yesterday is to be able to justify the 1 yard that wasn't called in the superbowl ,but most fans already figured this out .were still on a mission but i know the Seahawks staff loves that play caller more than a win ,go figure #nfldontpayme# I love this team and will stand up to anybody who tries to destroy it boom!!!!”

So, after one week of regular-season play, here are the standings in the NFC West, and my one-line description of each team.

Cardinals (1-0): Took care of business in impressive win.

Rams (1-0): Sending the Seahawks a thank-you card.

49ers (1-0): Peaked last night against Minnesota.

Seahawks (0-1): NFL version of the Titanic.

And after one week of play, my MVP (Most Valuable Poster on Facebook):  Marshawn Lynch’s mom!