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Midlife Singles: Woman learns how to date again after 15 years of marriage

Posted at 11:36 AM, Mar 18, 2019
and last updated 2019-03-18 14:36:02-04

Jumping back into the dating scene after 15 years of marriage was daunting for Lori.

"I've done it all. I've done eharmony, and all the apps," she says.

But nothing worked.

"I was trying too hard to be someone I wasn't,” Lori says.

She decided to enlist the help of relationship expert Hilary Silver.

"They just don't know what they are doing; they don't know how to date, present themselves,” Silver says of older adults getting back into the dating game. “They don't know the new rules or dating in the modern world."

Silver says Lori’s problem was how she was presenting herself, because it was a turn off.

Silver describes the top three personality turn-offs.

  • There's the pleaser. Silver says that’s the category Lori falls in. She says pleasers do anything and everything to be liked.
  • There are the pushers. They're more guarded and have a chip on their shoulder, which causes them to push people away.
  • Then, there are the perfectionists, who feel they need to be perfect to be loved.

Lori had to learn how to be herself, to reconnect with the things that make her happy, Silver says.

Her hard work payed off. Lori went on a blind date and found a connection.