PRESCOTT, AZ - The unnatural feeling of visiting your child at a burial site has become an everyday reality for the families of the 19 Granite Mountain hotshots that perished last June in the Yarnell Hill wildfire.
It has been almost a year since the firefighters died and one mother says that coping with her son's death would be easier if she knew what happened on that fateful June day.
Andrew Ashcraft was one of the firefighters who died that day and his mother, Deborah Pfingston says it's a new reality she has learned to deal with.
To visit him, she turns off a main road to visit the state-run cemetery where her son is buried. She never thought she would feel closest to him there.
"Even though I know that spiritually he's in Heaven, his body is here. That means something," Pfingston said.
Pfingston says that the cemetery is a place where she comes to pray, heal, cope and talk to her son but she knows that she won't ever get over the loss.
"I don't think you ever get over the loss of your child. You just learn to live with the loss," she said.
Pfingston misses her son and even though her loved ones tell her that time heals all wounds she believes that ultimately the truth will help her heal.
She wants to know what happened on that hill so she started reading the interviews conducted during the OSHA investigation after the fire. She began looking for inconsistencies and is hoping the truth will emerge eventually.
"I want the truth. I want to know what happened in Yarnell on June 30th," she said. "Let's learn honest lessons from this event. Let's not sweep it under the rug."