There are 36 million reviews on Yelp. A lot of them are really useful, but some have us asking: Seriously?!
If you must be incarcerated, the discerning prisoner enjoys Theo Lacy jail in California. Why? "It's the cleanest and best organized of all the jail facilities in the county of Orange." That's not the government telling you that. That's from a bona fide prisoner review on Yelp. Seriously.
You may have heard that jail reviews are the new thing on Yelp. Inmates rave about or rag on various correctional facilities. I guess it's no surprise that the super site has reached the super max.
Yelp averages 86 million viewers a month, with users rating everything from coffee shops to chiropractors. If you're not familiar with Yelp reviews let me say this… the human yearning to have a voice is finding an outlet on Yelp, where anyone's howls for justice can be heard, whether from prison, or the emotional prison that is one's mother's basement.
Some reviews are so charged, so filled with dystopian fury and angst that it would take a Shakespearean actor to capture them. There is definitely something going on. Yelp has gone from a place to find decent pad Thai to a primal scream chamber.
Here's a review of a restaurant in Florida: "Horrid! Chicken Lo Mein - equally disgusting! Nasty!"
An Indian restaurant in Ontario: "Comparable to eating a soggy breakfast of frosted flakes out of an unwashed bidet."
And here's a review of a doughnut shop that is more about unrequited love than maple bars. A Yelper had a big crush on the owner's daughter. His review? "The skate store next door opened up and all the skaters got to her and one of them got her pregnant. I never saw her again. Oh yeah, the donuts were good."
Yelp doesn't just provide reviews, it provides an audience for our purest and most basic grudges and passions, freeing us all -- except the guys at San Quentin. Seriously.