She said/he said! More Americans say 'I don't' to 'I do'

Forget the invitations, showers, gifts and flowers. Nowadays, it seems more people are saying “I don’t” when it comes to “I do.”

The number of people getting hitched has hit a historic low. New statistics released by the Census Bureau show marriage rates among young adults ages 25 to 34 have fallen 10% over the past decade. With numbers [of Americans not married] now hovering around 44.9% some claim they have met their perfect mate, but are in no hurry to set the date.

Gisele Collins has always pictured herself as a “beaming bride” wearing a big white wedding dress inside a massive Catholic church. She is in a committed relationship and has been living with her boyfriend for a little over two years, splitting the mortgage payment and all of the honey dos that come with owning a home.

“It’s kind of like we’re already married,” she says. “We go fifty-fifty on everything, share the household chores and are set in our routine. The only thing missing is a couple of rings and a piece of paper.”

David Gorman A.K.A. Love Dr. Dave is the host of several singles events in Phoenix. He has dozens of clients who’ve put marriage on the back burner and admit that they’re completely content with cohabiting.

“It removes the risk for divorce and in general there is no stigma in cohabiting anymore, so it removes most social pressure,” he says. “Plus, it’s much cheaper to live with someone, especially in this down economy.”

With marriage rates slowly creeping toward the gutter, the recession has been an easy scapegoat. But Relationship Coach and Author, Mike Lindstrom argues that the economy isn’t the only factor denting the marital rate.

“No matter how old you are, most people expect their big day to be just that; big,” he says. “You want all your friends and family to attend, you strive to have the best caterer and most extravagant decorations. In order to have all that, you have to be financially secure,” Lindstrom says.

Obviously financial stability comes with age and experience, so if you consider that a deal breaker before saying “I do,” you could be forced to put off the nuptials for decades.

“I can’t tell you how many men I coach that let their stupid egos get in the way and I blame society,” Lindstrom says. “They don’t want their lady to have anything less than a two carat diamond. So they’ll put off popping the question until they can afford anything but.” Listen up guys; if Lindstrom is describing your mo and your number one priority is the size of her ring, congratulations, you will be front and center at your local divorce court in a year.

Larry James has been a Relationship Coach and Ordained Minister for over two decades. He says he’s wed over seventy couples so far this year and that number is up from previous years. “I’ve seen couples shell out tons of cold hard cash for the wedding of their dreams, but I’ve also married couples in quaint and quiet backyard ceremonies. If two people are ready for marriage, they won’t let anything, even a tanking economy, get in their way,” he says.

For three years Michaela Ford has been balancing the grinding schedule of two jobs, owning a business, running a household and being a supportive, loving wife. Like many women she wears a handful of different hats in one day. She believes that years of women’s liberation has caused many men to become bitter and resentful, therefore giving them the upper hand when it comes to happily ever after – or not.

“Men are the ones who generally propose, but now they are so intimidated by women and what we’ve become, they try to punish us by not asking for our hand in marriage,” she explains.

Author, relationship coach and radio personality Marc Rudov tells women who are still waiting for a ring after five years or more, to move on. In the same breath, he advises men to run if the one they’re with is pressuring them to pop the question.

“Increasingly, women want children, not husbands,” Rudov says. “Husbands are a mere means to an end – legitimate children, a house, and child support. So, if a woman in a short-term relationship is pressuring you to marry her, this is what she wants. Get out now.”

With a growing number of adults spending more of their lives single or living unmarried with partners, it seems the era of high marriage rates is on its way out. Whether you are waiting for the economy to bounce back, a sustainable bank account or prince charming, keep in mind that marriage is no more than a lifestyle choice and a stable relationship can be just as good.