I can remember it like it was yesterday. I knew something was up. All of the signs were there. My husband would come home smelling like perfume, he would say he was going somewhere and when I’d call to check up on him, he wasn’t there. Also, our daughter had a best friend whose mother was single and he suddenly had a great interest in taking our daughter over to their house. That’s when the light bulb went off. So, one day I drove past her house and saw his car outside. I knocked on the door and my husband answered with his shirt and tie undone, she was on the couch in her bra and panties. Yes, my husband was cheating on me with my daughter’s best friend’s mother.
Sandra Hope, owner of Mate Check Private Investigations , says that was the day she vowed to help other people. Now, with nearly 17 years of private investigating under her belt, her mission is to seek out the unfaithful using GPS tracking devices, hidden cameras, decoys and cell phone SIM card readers.
“I want people to be able to get answers to the same questions that I had and let go on for so long,” she says.
Hope says most of her clients call when they have a gut feeling that their loved one is straying.
“Unfortunately, once a person suspects infidelity, more often than not, their suspicions are correct," she says. “You don't go to the doctor if you are not sick and you don’t go to a P.I. unless you think you are being cheated on.”
Take a deep breath though; Hope says there are several devices you can buy if you want to do a little investigating on your own.
“The number one device someone should get if they are snooping and trying not to get caught is the cell phone SIM card reader and computer software. ”
In minutes the device will take all of the deleted information; text messages, phone numbers, emails and pictures from a phone, and will install them onto a computer.
“You get to see what they did in the past, what they're doing in the future, how he talks about you to other people,” she explains. “And the best part is it’s not a one time deal. Once the program is installed, it will pull evidence from the SIM card forever.”
Hope also recommends investing in a GPS tracker. “This way if he says he is going to be at work late Friday night, you will be able to see exactly where he is going, and then I can go in, look at the address and tell you where he has actually been.”
When asked when someone should hire a private investigator, Hope is quick to answer, “Whenever two people are taking their relationship to the next level. Whether that’s an engagement, marriage, moving in, you don’t want to be with someone who isn’t completely faithful to you."
This is where the Mate Check Private Investigations decoy service could come in handy. A decoy is a sexy man or woman who will bump into the specific target at the gym or the bar, flirt with them and test to see if they will fall for the bait and stray. Hope, who does several decoy operations herself, says they are all carefully planned out with the person seeking the service.
“If your husband is a huge meat eater, I am not going to walk up to him and start a conversation about being a vegetarian,” she says. “The goal is to create the perfect decoy if he were in fact going to cheat.”
Now, Hope says if you have valid evidence that your lover is cheating, you have to sit down and strategize what you are going to do with the information.
“Make a step-by-step plan and stick to it,” she says. “And never tell them how you found out.”
She uses this example: “Say you find out your husband has a mistress. Tell him she called you and told you all about their affair. Nine times out of 10 he will call the mistress and chew her out because they made a pact to one another that they wouldn’t tell anyone about their relationship. He probably told the mistress he was going to leave you for her and will be furious that she jumped the gun and called you. Now, the mistress will be upset that he isn’t actually leaving you, she will get fed up herself and move on, you are just the innocent victim and he screwed up all on his own.”
Hope says if you chose to confront your cheating lover you should always do it in a public place like a park or a restaurant. She says there have been too many times where her clients or friends have decided to confront their significant others about affairs and end up getting physically hurt.
“No matter how well or how long you have known the person, you have to remember to protect yourself,” she says. “When you bring up the affair they will be so caught off guard and you don’t know how they will react. You could end up getting stabbed, beaten or shot.”
She says if the person is calm and collected after you confront them in a public place you can always finish the conversation at a more private place, like your home.
The entrepreneur, mother, wife and private investigator says she is ultimately just trying to make a difference and help keep families together. She says almost every one of her cases
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