The smart way to stop kids from lying before it becomes a problem

Today's smart topic is one that every parent has probably encountered -- lying by their children. When preschoolers lie it's pretty natural and part of their social development. But when teens lie it can lead to serious issues.

Certified positive discipline trainer Dodie Blomberg shares her advice. 

Why do children lie?

• They feel trapped
• Are scared of punishment
• Scared of rejection
• Feel threatened
• Or think it will be easier for everyone

Let go of punishment as a parenting tool because it invites:

• Resentment
• Revenge
• Rebellion
• Retreat
• Sneakiness
• Reduced self esteem

Keep in mind what you want to grow in your child long term

• Honesty
• Problem solving
• Asking for help
• Trusting relationships
• Dependability

Remind children (and ourselves):

• Mistakes are simply opportunities to learn
• That we are loved and cared about even when we make mistakes

What do I DO??

• Stop asking set up questions
• Focus on progress not perfection
• Use curiosity questions to solve problems
• State: “that doesn’t sound like the truth… I am on your side”
• Show appreciation when they tell the truth
• For young children using fabrication...“you are really good at using your imagination! Tell me more.”

Honesty is like a muscle. It must be practiced in a safe setting and in lots of situations to become strong. We need to give our young children lots of safe space to practice honesty because what we really want is teenagers who feel safe coming to us with even tougher situations.